satisfaction in the course of life

I felt powerless, confused and lost.
When did I ever had my sense of purpose right?
When did I feel proud and confident?
When was the last time I felt good about myself?

'I' am questionable.
My integrity is questionable.
After all these years, had I been truly healed from my regrets?
I still blaming myself.

:(

I am powerless. So I turned to God.
I humbled my struggles and selfish thoughts. I confess my short comings, wrong doings and faults.
I am grateful for all the great things I have got.
I thank Him for preserving and protecting me thus far.
I asked of God to fulfil the emptiness in me. I plead Him to satify my insatiable appetite.
As I recieve God's great Love for me.
May I have the strength to work tremendously hard with my hands.
For I know that God wants me to live a significant and abundant life.
If only I had acknowledged Him in EVERYTHING I do,
I will not lose the Peace He promise to provide.

As I was sorting out my emotions.
I chanced upon an article so long that I cannot finish reading.
I have not read it completely, clearly have not digested any part of it.

Its entitled 'The Hunger of the Spirit and the Ties that Binds'.

 I have also recalled Virginia Satir's Declaration of Self-Esteem - 'I Am Me'

In all the world,
there is no one else exactly like me -
everything that comes out of me is authentically mine,
because I alone choose it -

I own everything about me - my body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions,
whether they be to others or to myself -
I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears -
I own all my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes.

Because I own all of me, I can become intimately acquainted with me -

by so doing I can love me and be friendly with me in all my parts -
I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me,
and other aspects that I do not know -
but as long as I am friendly and loving to myself,
I can courageously and hopefully look for solutions to the puzzles and for ways to find out more about me -
However I look and sound, whatever I say and do,
and whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is authentically me -

If later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought and felt turned out to be unfitting,

I can discard that which I feel is unfitting, keep the rest,

and invent something new for that which I discarded -
I can see, hear, feel, think, say, and do.
I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive,
and to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me -
I own me, and therefore I can engineer me -
I am me and I am okay.

- Virginia Stair

So much for ventilating my emotional sirens.

Be sure, these piercing sounds will cease.